I don't know
by Ringitup
Summary: A little Alice/Jasper bonding time before the world comes crashing down. ONESHOT AxJ


**Ever wonder how Alice feels about leaving Bella in New Moon and how Jasper deals with the guilt he feels toward driving Edward away from Bella. **

I sat there staring at the phone in my hand. Edward would kill me if he knew what I was thinking of doing right now, but I missed her. He didn't realize that he wasn't the only one who cared about Bella. I loved her as if she was my sister and I didn't want to leave her any more that he did, but he had to do what he usually does an freak out and run away.

"Honey," Jasper sighed wrapping his arms around me.

"I know, I just want to talk to her." I leaned against him, knowing what he was going to say before he said it.

"It's your choice, but Edward did this for a reason. And no matter how stupid his reasoning may be, he still had a reason to leave the love of his life." Jasper reasoned, kissing my forehead softly.

"He's so stupid! He knows he can't live without her and he still leaves. Even now he knows that it's inevitable that he will go back to see her, but he still refuses to get off his lazy ass and go to her." I sighed, turning around in his arms and burying my face in his shirt. "He doesn't realize what he's doing to everyone," I continued my rant. "Even Emmett isn't himself anymore, and he can't be a normal person about this he has to be his stupid jerk self and ruin the first real good thing that has happen in a while. Not to mention how Bella is probably feeling about this. I mean how could he do this to her of all people. But of course I'm not allowed to look at her future to at least see if she's going to be okay, no he made me promise!" I growled, hitting my head against Jasper's chest. "He's such a jerk!"

"Baby, calm down. I know your hurting and I'm sor-" He tried before I cut off his sentence with a snarl.

"Don't you dare say you are sorry one more time or I swear to god I will push you through that wall and leave you to the wrath of Esme all by your lonesome. None of this is your fault, if anything it's my fault. If I was a better psychic then I would have seen Bella cut herself at the stupid party but I didn't. In fact I didn't need to be a psychic to see that one coming. I mean it's Bella! How could she not go through one whole day without stumbling or cutting herself. I should have known better!" I growled again.

"Hon, there was no seeing that Bella would cut her finger on that wrapping paper, even Edward, the overprotective, couldn't have known what was going to happen. And if I didn't react the way I did, then it wouldn't have set off Edward on his 'look how much danger we are putting her in' rant and we would still be in Forks. Edward would be with us and Emmett would probably be laughing at some stupid clumsy thing Bella had done at school today. If it wasn't for my reaction we wouldn't be here." He finished pulling me tighter it his chest and looking straight into my eyes. Guilt, unintentionally, radiating around him.

"It's not your fault, it's who we are. That is one thing that I will give Edward, but he doesn't realize that if he would have just changed Bella like she wanted than we wouldn't be in this situation. I get the fact that he sees himself as a monster who has no soul but this is what she wants. He wants her to stay human more than she does. Besides there is no way out of turning her, it's not like Edward can sit beside her while she gets old and gray. She wouldn't allow that. He's just being so unreasonable and stupid. Not that he has ever not been unreasonable and stupid." I breathed through my nose, trying to calm done. It's times like these that I am happy I'm not a human, because my heart would probably be ready to explode by now.

"Baby, are-"

"Oh shut up Emmett!" I hissed, seeing that Emmett was about to make some stupid joke about me calming down. I just didn't want to listen to him right now, not when I'm feeling like this.

Jasper gave me a funny look before kissing my lips gently. "Are you sure you don't want to come with us? Maybe hunting can get your mind off of this."

"No, I'm fine here. You two go have some fun and eat up. I'll be here waiting for you when you get back." I sighed, hugging him tighter and kissing him, letting all my emotions transform into the uncontrollable love that I felt for him.

"You promise?" He asked, smirking.

"I promise!" I smiled, pulling away from him and walking over to the door and opening it for him. The last thing I felt before I felt the door close downstairs was the love he was projecting back towards me.

--

I was sitting in the kitchen of Tanya's home, leafing through a fashion magazine when I saw a model with dark brown hair and brown eyes. She was no where near as beautiful as Bella but she still reminded me of her. The feeling of sadness swept through me faster than I expected, and without Jasper here to dull the pain I let it take over my body. I missed Bella so much. She was my best friend and just like that she was snatched away from me. She was the first person I remember that I ever connected with that was a girl. I mean I had Esme, but she was more like a mother than anything else. She looked out for all of us and made us feel loved. She yelled at the boys when they broke the furniture and consoled us when we needed help. She was the mother I never had, but she wasn't my friend. Then there was Rose. Don't get me wrong, I loved Rose, she was like a sister. She knew all about fashion and could be loving when she wanted to, but she never really got me. She was a great sister, just not a good friend. She usually thought of herself and her desires more than anyone else's.

But Bella was my friend. She was there for me, she didn't call me insane or talk trash about me. She even let me play Bella Barbie. Not to mention she loved my brother and my family more than herself. She proofed that when she went to face James alone. She would rather die a thousand deaths than she anyone of us hurt, even Rose she cared about. Even thought Rose acted like she hated Bella and treated her like crap, she still cared about her safety more then her own. It was like Edward once said, she had no self preservation instincts, all she cared about was everyone else.

Just as I was about to flip the page and turn away from the Bella look alike my mind was filled with a ocean cliff. I watched as the waves smashed against the rocky surface of the cliff. There was a storm thundering around me but all I could see was a familiar figure fly through the air and towards the rough waves below.

"NO!" I shouted, as if she could hear me as her body dived into the slashing was that were to hard for her small frame. I waited impatiently for her head to come back up, not noticing my family come rushing into the room around me, but nothing happened. I counted the seconds in my head, knowing there was no way she would able to survive being under the water that long, there was no way, her precious human lungs need the air. There was no way she could survive.

I jolted out of the vision as I felt gentle hands shake me. "Alice? What is it? Are you okay?" Rosalie's voice rang through my ears.

"Bella," I managed to get out.

"What? Is she okay?" Rose asked, after a short confused pause.

This seemed to bring me back from my vision, I looked her in the eyes, fear covering my face. "I don't know."


End file.
